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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051928">So What Do I Call You Now?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trblingthoughts/pseuds/trblingthoughts'>trblingthoughts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ENHYPEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Open Ending?, Post-Break Up, i miss sunsun so much you dont understand, light fluff, you'll find some curse words</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:00:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trblingthoughts/pseuds/trblingthoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“So if this goes well, So if I come out of there empty-handed, uneducated about who Park Sunghoon is, So if I do forget about you, what do I call you?” the younger one said. Sounds faint but the other still can hear it. </p><p>“Just make sure to never call me your love or that kind of shit ever again.”</p><p>Or they try to forget each other</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Sunoo &amp; Park Sunghoon, Kim Sunoo/Park Sunghoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>So What Do I Call You Now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yup another fic from a sunsun misser (also if you notice this is reposted because i dont know why i wasnt aware of some errors the last post came out with so yeah). this fic is heavily inspired by taeyeon's what do i call you (<a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/3Wu4lFjkhcXxB6WWaX9gtr?si=nd9GgKZ7QgmVXwsFCPrKlA">spotify</a>) and slight mention of a thing from the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. this isn't my best but i hope you enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Honking cars’ horns, The sound of pouring water touching the wide asphalt beyond his vision, The weak leaves falling with the flow to the side of his shoes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Here he is. Sitting below the shaded roof of a mini bus station in the middle of the rain and on the stainless steel chair provided right beside the canned drinks vending machine. He never really paid attention to pouring rain. He never really put himself feeling how the sound of the water when it reaches the ground nor the smell of wet dusty roads. It all feels like his first time while he wonders where he has been all these times not recognizing their presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or he did, it just feels different now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fact is that he did pay attention to many things. To every single detail it has. To even the smallest thing only squinting eyes could recognize. But with a certain boy in his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Ma’am. I will send it as soon as tonight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A nearly screaming voice came into his hearing system, revealing another person’s arrival in the bus station. The guy got all his hair drenched but not with the bag he clenches to his chest and the grey bubbly water shield padding he wears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><em><span>He still keeps it.</span></em> <em><span>The padding.</span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guy who has just arrived doesn’t bother himself to look at his surroundings. He keeps playing with his phone, fiercely pressing those buttons like his life depends on it. The sudden sigh the other guy managed to let out jolted him a little. He quickly turned his vision to the store across the street acting like nothing happened. All he hears now are, again, busy streets and pouring rain until he decided to stand on his feet turning into the vending machine beside him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels it. The guy’s gaze is now landing on his figure, finally recognizing a red flag. He even can tell the other is shuffling awkwardly on his seat. It makes him scoff that now he can’t escape. Like any other day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere’s cracked when he goes back to his seat with a can of lemonade drink in his right hand. The grip never loses as he tries to send warmth to it to make it less chilly. Don’t get him wrong, he likes cold drinks no matter how the weather is, but the guy beside him for some inches away doesn’t like it especially when this is how the ambience feels like.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stretched his hand that was gripping the canned drink out so the other’s vision could catch it. He looks attentively to the change in the other’s face. Lifting his head for a little to check on the other guy but then it goes back to the drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You remember things pretty well.” Said the other guy sounds a bit surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly, too, the guy received the drink kind of politely. Absolutely didn’t match the sarcastic tone on the words he just said. The guy, namely Sunoo, really likes refreshing drinks. It never leaves Sunghoon’s mind about that note like it has engraved permanently at the back of his brain for the act to be so naturally delivered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunghoon, the first visitor of the station, decided to not answer it. Actually he didn’t expect his ex would come up with that. Didn’t he do everything to push him off? Then why did he suddenly bring it up again? Like they have known each other for so long when strangers is the only word that could name their relation right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunoo is still seen so invested in whatever his phone made him. The drink is now being put beside him instead. Like a useless brochure that some people thought it's meant to be in the trash can. Sunghoon can’t think of it as an act of disrespect nor get hurt over it. To think of it again, no one asked him to do that. The embarrassment crept up to him showing how reddenned his ears have become. He closed his eyes to swallow it down as he heard the crack sound coming from the opened can. He didn’t even realize he let out a fit of sigh that expressed relief. Glad he didn’t just spend his money to waste.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After some gulps, The other guy stands up from his seat and seemingly walks towards the vending machine. Sunghoon keeps pinning his gaze down to his feet, internally cursing on himself because he now can’t busy himself after he finds out his phone is out of battery. The silence continued until a piece of money suddenly popped out of nowhere in front of his lowered gaze. It got him staring at the other guy, who unfortunately returned the stare in an annoyed manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sunghoon said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are not treating me.” He sounds so irritated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sunoo-</span>
  <em>
    <span>ya</span>
  </em>
  <span>..” No, Sunghoon didn’t see that coming. Not that tone. That wasn’t what the call of his name was supposed to sound like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An awkward silence following. Sunoo doesn’t look as annoyed right now but instead a blank face Sunghoon received. He finally realized how Sunoo holds onto his words very tightly. That maybe by becoming total strangers in and out is what will help them get out of this suffocating period of a post-breakup. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People said post-breakup is a living nightmare. Sunghoon believes that with his whole heart. The day Sunoo decided to cut the tie </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he felt like everything was crashing down. No more picking him up from lessons, no more impulsively coming to his house with take-outs in his both hands, no more ruffling the other’s fluffy head everytime he had a bad day, no more everything. Terrible. He wanted to blame every single thing like why the lamp was turned on when he turned it on. Call him dramatic, but he can 100% prove that every tumblr post about post-breakup is true. Now when he’s looking at how his ex is dealing with this, looking so persistent to go by this narrative, to see each other as mere strangers, It feels like his bubble was popped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I acted as a nice stranger you accidentally bumped into in the bus station by the way.” Sunghoon finally blurted out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see you taking it very lightly, Park Sunghoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just gave you a drink for fuck sake.” There it is, the result of whatever he tries to keep inside for 3 months already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And now the nice stranger suddenly being rude?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When the one they sympathized enough to give a damn drink ignored it this way?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was it. The heated up argument for the first time in awhile. No one could avoid it when they both, in fact, still go through the same harsh states of their lives.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you fucking serious now..’ Sunoo hisses with hands occupied by the big bag of dirty clothes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is now standing in front of the self-laundry store near his dorm to do his weekly laundry. He usually didn’t encounter whoever he tries to despise so bad here at this hour of the day. But maybe just maybe, whatever happened that day in the bus station is a signal of something cursed coming to his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why God hates him so bad to bother holding this kind of occasion again for him. ‘And why the hell that Sunghoon guy washes his clothes here out of all places?’ he once again cursed to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The heavy bag he brings finally encourages him to come in instead. He promises himself to make this day a peaceful one so he tries his best to just sneak in without causing anything. Not that he admits he caused the last time’s argument but he’s genuinely not in the mood for it right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But like a blink of an eye, he’s now sitting two seats away from where Sunghoon is. The two seem to know better not to be noisy or else they would be kicked out of the store since they got the killer cashier this time. Their eyes landed on the rotating clothes in the washing machine, didn’t plan to start a conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunoo isn’t the type to stay silent in his seat looking at his clothes being washed just like today. Unfortunately, as if God couldn’t hate him more to plan these things out for him, he forgot to bring his phone with him. It must be okay if Sunghoon wasn’t there. It wouldn’t be this suffocating and killing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Talking about the past, washing day used to be one of their favorite hang-outs. It would be held every Saturday, just like now. Sunghoon would come with his car to pick him up, and he would put his bag of clothes beside the car’s owner’s that were placed behind the front seats. After that, he would bring them to this one self-laundry store a little far away from their dorms’ residents because of its cute store decoration and surprisingly cheaper rate from the one near their campus. Fun fact, It is owned by one of their alumnus who came out to be Sunghoon’s father’s friend’s daughter so beside all of them, they found the atmosphere a bit friendlier too since they know each other well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While waiting for it to finish, they would go out to get some ice cream. Sunoo would always take mint-choco and Sunghoon would always take the coffee flavored one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I never understand the value of getting a coffee-flavored ice cream like babe, you can straight up get an iced coffee instead!” Sunoo exclaimed while spooning his ice cream into his mouth.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They have different textures though.” Sunghoon simply answered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunoo didn’t seem to be able to argue with it, but he didn’t seem to be convinced enough too. “But isn’t regular iced coffee more refreshing?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunghoon didn’t answer that with a significant answer, instead he just shook his head and took another spoonful ice cream to his mouth. “Stop pouting.” Sunghoon said after he realized he left the other questioning whatever his boyfriend's reaction could be mean.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah.. I know.” Sunoo’s expression turned into the teasing one. He put the cup of ice cream on the table, got his lower arms folded and put it not far away from the cup, then pushed his head closer to the other’s.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You're doing this for me, right? Wah.. you like me that much?” right after that he let his body go back to his seat, arms crossed in front of his abdomen with a satisfied smile plastered beautifully there on his lips.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That one is right but come on now, Sunoo. The coffee shop is just next door. I could just buy it if I wanted it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then why a coffee-flavored?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As expected, from the Kim Sunoo who would always complain about things that he found unlogic. Sunghoon wasn’t really a fan of ice cream indeed that’s why he just ordered whatever was familiar to him only by looking at its name. Fortunately, he grew fonder to that certain ice cream flavor. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay now why mint-choco?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was always a petty, childish argument back then until it became ear-piercing. Until it was too heavy to handle. Until it came time when the well-built sand castle eroded inch per inch by the sea water. Who knew the promised utopia they always imagined would turn to dust in a stomp of worn-out converse. The next time they knew was that they woke up with a hole in their hearts. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck?” It was Sunoo’s panic voice shaking Sunghoon from the daze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All he sees next is Sunoo rushing to his washing machine and manages to stop the loud sound that suddenly came from it. As if the younger already knows that he is about to stand up and help the other resolve the problem, the younger abruptly stops him from even moving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay right there. I’ll handle this.” He said without even looking at the other. His hands are busy opening the glass door of it to get some of his clothes out to the nearest bucket. Stupid Sunghoon made the whole machine overloaded. He wasn’t focusing when he put everything there. And all the foam that came out of it makes it even worse. He didn’t know he also put too much soap in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have extra coins?” The younger asked. Now he finally turned his face to him with a seemingly casual questioning look. Sunghoon just shook his head in honesty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll go buy it.” and, again, before he could even interrupt him, he had already gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After paying for it and going to check another vacant machine for then put the rest of Sunghoon’s clothes there, Sunoo finally came back to his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Sunghoon started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” the simple answer again. Then there goes back the silent moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was never like this before. It was always Sunoo in Sunghoon’s arms safely. Sitting without empty spaces between each other with breathy laughter came filling the air. It was never hard for them to just nudge each other playfully without feeling like something stuck in their throat so demanding to be thrown away. Everything has changed, that’s what they finally learn. Being away from each other after the break up is already hard. However, fate seems to want them to suffer more by squeezing them in many unexpected encounters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” The sound, again, coming from the younger. Sunghoon turned his head immediately to see what suddenly got Sunoo’s attention. It resulted in him finding he is now looking at his freshly bandaged left leg. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprised, of course. He forced himself to look for the right answer but then suddenly shook his head lightly. ‘Why do i need to answer it with white lies again? It’s not like he’s worried or shit.’ Sunghoon finally decided,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Car..” Sunghoon comes out still finds it hard to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That got hit by a car? What- when?” Like cubes of ice suddenly crashing down his head, his eyes turned wide by the reaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like three days ago??” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day where they met in the bus station </span>
  <em>
    <span>arguing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why don’t you-” a sudden beep from Sunoo’s washing machine lashes out. It managed to cut the conversation just like that because Sunoo then chose to just shrug it off feeling saved that if it’s not for his finished laundry, he would say things he didn’t plan to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The time filled by a deafening silence. Very unreadable yet keeps Sunghoon speculating things. The day when he woke up thinking they were still in a relationship after he was discharged from the hospital on wednesday, he really was about to call the other to inform what just got into him. Which was insane of him that he wanted to bang his head to somewhere solid. He was aware of things happening to him, but he never knew it could horribly blow his mind to do things unprovoked just because he got in contact again with his ex. Their antics were to bicker every single second which made the argument on the other day got Sunghoon thought everything was okay.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you go home after this?” The younger cut his train of thoughts after he finished gathering his clothes. Sunghoon jolted at that and didn’t expect to get another question from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh.. taxi??” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as Sunghoon wants to brush his thoughts off, he’s sure he sees Sunoo sighed in relief. Or maybe he’s stupid enough to catch the fact that Sunoo’s only reacting that way out of basic human decency because how the hell he’s gonna go by bus with one leg disfunctioning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunoo just nodded knowingly before excusing himself from the scene. Leaving Sunghoon in an indescribable state of mind all over again.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting on the chair provided in a small clinic placed in the heart of the city, he could clearly see the cafe through the large glass window right before his eyes. He never thought of doing this for his entire life, not even in his imagination. Finding this place through the popular topic that being talked about a lot  in the news platform he often checked out everyday, he only needed a week to think of finally deciding to come here after reading all the reviews he once scrolled under one post he found in some popular blogs among urban people of the city. In short, it’s popular enough for him to end up here, waiting for his name to be called with a box sitting on his lap and a boy he knew so well sitting beside him bringing the same kind of thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hands tightly wrap around the box. Fingers keep moving, playing with other fingers until it’s bleeding. Nothing really worrying about that, he decided. All he thinks right now is how tragic it is that he has reached this state of believing a damn scientists’ work to help erase someone’s memory for his own good, yet the world still found its way to give him a chance to meet the one he really wants to forget and give him time for the last goodbye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But instead of a goodbye, they come up with a deal. The one they promise they mean it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So if this goes well, So if I come out of there empty-handed, uneducated about who Park Sunghoon is, So if I do forget about you, what do I call you?” the younger one said. Sounds faint but the other still can hear it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just make sure to never call me your love or that kind of shit ever again.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Autumn, </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Five Months Later. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing really changed about his life. The same slightly polluted air he takes in every morning when he opens the window of his apartment, the same news program intro he hears while making some toasts, the same moving clouds starting his day more calmly, everything has become repetitive that he’s a bit glad enough of how fast he’s getting used to everything. Some ups and downs happened but this time, they’re more bearable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One morning he felt like shit knowing he had messed up and watching things tear apart right before his eyes, another morning he felt like he found back what he lost and things gradually went back to what it used to be. The thoughts making his elevator ride feels so long. Happier is what he feels right now, but as the number shown in the nearest small LED keeps decreasing signalling he’s getting near to reach the ground, it seems like it finds its way to force him recollecting all the guilt he always tries to shove down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because that day, he chose to step his feet back. Instead of giving up and being harsh on himself for whatever better things he fantasized himself to be, he thought letting himself hurt for a little longer would heal him better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He still hasn’t yet got the answer though. He’s in the process of getting it, </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Sunshine. Look what your Sunghoon-ie hyung brings you this morning!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or of forgiving himself for betraying the other’s last wish that day in the gloomy four walls of Lacuna. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>help me summon sunsun vlive i beg also follow me on twitter too i post edits, gifs, and writings <a href="https://twitter.com/730gif">730gif</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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